“Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.“ Emily Post

Definition of etiquette: 1) a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances 2) conventional requirements as to social behavior

Displaying proper etiquette can help us to move gracefully through social situations, and consequently help put others at ease. Employing etiquette demonstrates a caring for others, and a respect for ourselves.

With that said, below are some “holiday etiquette tips” for the twelve signs of the zodiac, served up in a more humorous fashion.

Aries: Remember to pay close attention to any “RSVP” invitations that you receive. In your characteristic haste, you can easily forget to respond, leaving the host or hostess dangling in the air, as to whether or not you will be attending an event. Also, given your “spur of the moment,” impulsive side, do try to refrain from “crashing” any parties (going somewhere uninvited).

Taurus: Do not serve yourself first at the dinner table, whenever you are hosting a party. Too, although you may be tempted, please do not reach for food on other people’s plates. We know you are self-indulgent, with a characteristically hearty appetite, but you’ll be better off here with a little bit of discipline. Your guests will also appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Gemini: Please remember to turn off your cell phone at any social or holiday functions. With your incessant penchant for chatting, this may be difficult. Also, no talking with your mouth full.

Cancer: Unless you are partying or socializing with relatives, please do not inquire with the hostess about the matter of leftovers. Or do not bring along doggie bags from home for the purpose of stealthily pilfering appetizers or h’orderves. Since your thoughts are mostly food-based, and you automatically squirrel away copious amounts of food for the future, for fear of possible famine, these restraints could pose some personal challenges.

Leo: It’s true that you can be highly entertaining, and we all know that you enjoy basking in the spotlight, but if you see that most of the guests have already left an event, and the hostess is glaring at you and yawning, please take the cue and kindly go.

Virgo: If you go to a party and the napkins don’t match the table cloth, or if you see someone has spilled their drink, or maybe dropped a lettuce leaf on the table, please try to kindly take it all in stride and refrain from making any critical or personally defamatory remarks about these matters. Even though we know that you’re dying inside to say something scolding.

Libra: Don’t show up at a holiday function with a guest, unless that person has also been invited. Bringing along uninvited guests to an event can be a real temptation for you, as you are such a social butterfly and constantly meeting new people and sleeping around. Also, don’t apply lipstick or other makeup at the dinner table, which you tend to do after you eat. This may apply to some of the Libra guys as well. 🙂

Scorpio: Avoid asking for detailed explanations, whenever guests arrive late to your holiday events: Who, what, when, where, and why. We know you are intrinsically suspicious and revel in giving others the third degree, but remember, it’s the holiday season. Just try to relax and enjoy. You really can do this!

Sagittarius: Steer clear of discussing hot-button topics, such as religion or politics, at holiday functions, and avoid food fights at the dinner table with those who disagree with you, especially with young children. Keep in mind that you need to lead by example.

Capricorn: It’s common knowledge that you are frugal, but please try not to be a Scrooge during the holidays. If you’re invited to a holiday party, be a good sport and spring for a nice gift for the host or hostess.

Aquarius: Make sure before you depart for a holiday event or social function, that you double-check the date, place, and time for it. You have been known to get a little lost or confused with these kinds of things, and show up on the wrong day, place, etc., causing untold embarrassment for yourself and others. Also, if it’s a black-tie affair, please wear more than just a black tie to the event. We all know about your reputation for acting a little foolish or outrageous.

Pisces: We know as a fish that you love to drink, but try not to reach for other guests’ drinks.

“Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.” Will Cuppy

Patrice Thompson

Copyright 2010

Source Notes:

Cuppy quote; http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/etiquette.html

Youtube etiquette video

etiquette: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/etiquette

fish: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1321139

table setting: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/407778

Emily Post: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/etiquette.html

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