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Moving right along with yet another installment of my “Special Prophesies Report” for 2010…

Been discussing with you that, big porker Jupiter, moves into Pisces on January 18th…that is, if he eat doesn’t eat himself into a coma first…here are more illuminating visions for the year as a result of Jupiter’s grand caloric intake into the sign of  forbidden fish and very homely, defrocked priests…

With Jupiter sea-bound, fish are in short supply… fish prices, fish stocks, skyrocket..congress investigates ….Jupiter hogs all the fish for himself…anything “fishy” makes money…George Washington replaced with a giant king mackerel on dollar bills…  fish farms proliferate, replacing fat farms…NBC’s Brian Williams investigates…Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin sentenced  by all liberals to hard labor at a fish-farm…conservatives object and throw fish eggs…mass chaos ensues…TMZ reports Oprah Winfrey checks into a fish farm to lose weight…Michael Moore makes big fish-farm documentary…baits wormy people to talk and then drowns them…Rush Limbaugh pushed by MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann into a giant fish tank…nearly drowns….but is okay…There’s bigger demand for big fish, lower demand for little fish…minnows  treated as outcasts…The Twitter Whale is a bigger star than ever…Save the Whales campaign takes on more urgency.. Charlie Tuna is back in the swim on TV…Wall Street Journal and CNBC report fish advertising huge for 2010…Scaly, oily skin is in…pimples very  popular…anything with puss in it is super cool, as Pisces rules infections…fish oil is the big new aphrodisiac …Kentucky Fried Chicken  switches from chicken to all fish…they move their restaurants underwater…Vatican reinstates mandatory fish-eating on Fridays for all Catholics…Sarah Palin attends weekly “fish fries” with Katie Couric at  local book signing events making liberals cringe …Tiger Woods implicated in more extra-marital affairs but only with mermaids …and NBC replaces their Peacock with an aging, overweight Porpoise named Bruno in a bid to improve ratings…

Copyright 2010

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